It's hard to imagine that three years ago tonight, I was timing contractions, assuming they were Braxton-Hicks, wishing they would stop so I could sleep. After all, I was scheduled for a c-section in just over a week and the baby would be 2 weeks "early" at that. I was never supposed to feel contractions again. Doctors lie. Babies have minds of their own. And my water broke in my bed for the second time.
Tonight, I braved shopping for the big birthdays that start tomorrow with Thing 2 turning 3. I had a plan, had things pre-picked. But the girls are snoops (they come by it honestly) and I don't trust them. And I've been busy, so I waited until the last minute to break down and fork out the cash.
I hit up Toys R Us, since it is late and I know they have everything on my list, which isn't as big as in years past. We spent 4 years buying to our hearts' content for our little princesses, and then they get so much from family and friends that it's just ridiculous. So we finally wised up.
On my list for Thing 1's big day on Friday was one of the new "Princess and Me" dolls. Think American Girl, but they are Disney Princess characters.
And overpriced.
Not as bad as the American Girl dolls, which D had decided she wanted until she saw these, but still overpriced. I bit the big one, got the doll and two outfits, but only because that allowed me to get the wardrobe for free (promo).
Her party on Saturday is going to have a fashion show and, in my giving way, I decided we should really get her a matching dress for the event. It was right beside the dolls, and was really pretty. I picked it up, admired it, and then passed out.
Toys R Us and Disney expect us to pay $50 for a PLAY DRESS. Are you kidding me? And behind the "golden Bell" dress I found the pink Bell dress with the velvet cape/hood. Delaney could match her doll for the low price of $69. I won't pay $50-$70 for a Christmas dress, let alone something she is going to have a foot stuck thru within a week...
Seriously, what the hell?
So Thing 1 is getting a doll made of gold. Thing 2 is getting a Baby Alive. One of my gf's at work today said, "Really, what the HELL are you thinking?" She may be right. My husband said the same thing. But Ryley LOVES babies and she's all about their bodily functions. She will love it. All y'all remind me of that when I'm blogging about cleaning up fake poop. I did buy an extra pack of fake diapers so I could get the mondo-sized food/diaper refill for free--promo.
Ryley is also getting her ears pierced, which has been no small feat. The hub says pierced ears on young children are white trashy. I disagree, I think she is old enough and it will help strangers talking about how "cute our little guy" is. I've always said the girls can get their ears pierced "when they are old enough to ask." I had no idea Thing 2 would start begging at 2 1/2 years old, but she did. I've tried to tell her horror stories about how bad it will hurt and we even watched a little girl get hers done at the mall. But she asks every time we go to the mall, and tells me she won't cry and she will be brave. We'll see how that goes. Stay tuned.
So following Toys R Us I hit up Wal Mart for wrapping paper and a few odds and ends for the household. A pillow pet and $60 of junk later, I'm ready to go home.
I hit the door to find the king wired up to his football game. As I'm struggling in and out the door with my arms full, muttering, "No, I'll get it, don't get up," he ends his game and comes to help.
"Guess what? I just beat the 13th ranked guy of the WHOLE GAME, all [54million] players!" That's great, I just spent $200 at Toys R Us. He flipped out until I reminded him it's really not bad, considering it is for TWO birthdays. Heck, I felt like a bargain shopper--I got two FREE items, saving almost $50!
I get it all in, get it sorted, and start to plot my wrapping strategy. You know what I mean, what color designates which child, which gift is awesome enough to get the "character" paper vs. the single-color cheap stuff. It's all going to be ripped apart and pitched, it honestly pisses me off to wrap anything.
CRAP--I can't find the tape.
10 minutes later, the king has just started another football game. I mumble a lot and say three times, "Hmm...guess I'll have to go back out for tape," but keep looking, waiting for a volunteer. It never happens--I'm on my own. So after an evening shopping, it's off to Gerbes for tape.
Shopping in a grocery store late at night is a BAD thing. I think they pipe in some special gas or something to make you consider buying things you would NEVER EVER look at unless its late and you don't need anything--except tape.
I checked out the hair accessories for the girls, because we can never have too many falling off the ledge above the toilet and thus falling into the toilet. I spent 10 minutes--no kidding--looking at razors. I don't need a new razor, but you never know what you will find at Gerbes at 10 pm. I also never realized there is such a wide variety of "personal lubricants" on the market. Interesting. Maybe I'm missing something. Or missing OUT on something?
At one point, I decided I should have gotten cards for the Things. I spent 10 minutes shopping cards. After all, you have to read them all. I didn't find any I loved, and then I remembered--they can't read, and we're giving them their gifts on their birthdays so they don't blend in with the party day. I put the cards back.
I start looking at a new line of cards that are awesome. They are for all the "bad" situations in life. Breakups, divorce, cancer, stupid teenage kids, etc. They are hilarious. I read all of them--seriously. At one point, I decided to buy a card about chemo because it was so funny. Luckily, I don't know anyone going thru that right now and karma is a bitch. I put it back.
Since I'm wasting time with cards and I'm so close, I hit the wine department. After all, I'm off the next couple of days and I drank all the wine from last week.
I found the PERFECT wine. It's called MAD HOUSEWIFE. The label, where it usually describes all the flavors that I can never taste? This one says: Somewhere in the cool shadows of the laundry room. Past the litter box and between the plastic yard toys. This is your time. Time to enjoy a moment to yourself, a moment without the madness. The dishes can wait. Dinner be damned."
30 minutes later, I come home with a 3-pack of tape and my wine.
I start wrapping, sigh loudly several times, and the king finally says, "Can I help you with anything?" Oh--like going to get the @#$% tape at Gerbes since I spent the evening shopping for our love children?
"Nah, I got it. You relax. After all, I don't have to work tomorrow."
Right--I'll be eating bon bons and watching soaps all day.
And wishing I'd taken out stock in Disney.
