HIGHLY Unappropriate

Before I even start, some readers may find this entire post highly inappropriate. If you have been offended in any shape or form at any of my other posts, please move on to something else. But what I am about to recant is not really inappropriate--it's my life. And I'm sorry, but it's funny. It's funny to me and I'm pretty sure it will be funny to you, too. So if you would like to find out what I'm talking about, please read on.

Now that the housekeeping is out of the way, this post is going to be highly inappropriate. At least that is what Thing 1 would tell you.

They say kids say "the darndest things" but "they" have never met my kids. They are hysterical. At first, I thought it was just me being a biased mommy. But as I slip in a "my kid said" story here and there (and there and here--I'm obsessed with my girls, I'll admit it) I realize that they are just funny little creatures. I will say, I think all kids say some pretty funny stuff from time to time. Obviously I'm around MY kids more so I hear more and it just clouds my mind with all their little cute and funny things...well, you get it. I'm a mom, I think mine are the greatest--who doesn't think theirs are the best?

This morning, in my rush of "School Day" (see previous post), I am SURPRISE running late. Which should really not be happening, because I didn't have to pack lunch for "the adults" today. The "extra time" was negated by the girls deciding they needed to lift Mommy's weights (dumbells found in the closet) and Thing 2 dropping one on Thing 1's foot. In fact, the whole morning that was today's could be it's own post.

But anyway...so I was in a rush, the girls were ready and only Mommy was left. Allow me to say I REALLY need to put away laundry. The King is a laundry Nazi, he HATES to have laundry around--but once washed (not sorted first, no removal of delicates, no treating of stains--but hey, I'm not doing it so I'm grateful!) it often sits in baskets on our bedroom floor until the weekend when I make time to put it away.

So I am in a hurry and in a rush, and the last one to get dressed. I open the dresser and grab the first things my hands light on...like any rushed mama would do. And since "we're all girls" the little ladies are in the room with me.

As I have my back turned and start to get dressed, Thing 1 gasps very loudly..."MOM!" Holy geeze, I'm just getting dressed...WHAT????

"MOM--I can see your bottom thru your panties--those are HIGHLY unappropriate for work."

Wow, called out by a (soon to be) 5 year old. First, they are not totally whorish panties. They are sheer, but that's it. And that's way too much information, I realize. But if the beginning of this blog didn't scare you away, it's ok because I know you have a pair of "sexy but not whorish" panties, too, even if you don't admit it to the general public like I just did.

While this is mostly the end of the anecdote, my children--especially Thing 1--rarely let well enough alone. Being a school day, I'm pretty sure she would go to school and tell her teacher or at least her friends her mommy wears inappropriate panties. So, like an idiot, I go to school and drop the "just to warn you, Delaney may tell you..." on her teacher. NOT telling the story was making me feel worse than just telling her, so I did. Of course, she is awesome and laughed and told me an even worse story about her son, so I felt better. Still, I wasn't really surprised when another mother asked me about wardrobe choices this evening...ugh...THANKS, KIDDO!

Oh...and when I put on the matching bra, Thing 1 just shook her head, headed out of the room and mumbled, "Well, at least you match."

Highly unappropriate.