It SUCKS to grow up.

Almost one year ago, my mother broke my heart. It was just after the annual carving of the pumpkins with Thing 1 and Thing 2 and I made a comment about it not being as much fun as it used to be when I was young.

"I HATED carving pumpkins with you kids," she told me. "The only thing that was worse was making those damn Valentine's Day boxes for school."

WHAT? BLASPHEMY! The two things I looked forward to, every year, that in a lot of ways were even more special than Christmas and 4th of July because they were not things that were overdone, over-celebrated. Also because it was a GREAT time to hang with my mommy and my big brother, working together, laughing at the kitchen table (insert Norman Rockwell photo here).

And she was pretending to like it the entire time.

I was really hurt for a long time. In fact, I think it's a little fair to say I was traumatized for a while. If my mom could pretend (aka LIE) so well about these things, what ELSE about my childhood was a lie???

And then I grew up.

I'm not sure how it happened, or when the lightbulb flicked on, or why it took 4 years after the delivery of my firstborn, but suddenly within this past year I GET it.

Growing up sucks for a lot of reasons. Accountability, responsibility, blah blah blah, bills, etc. But the hardest thing for me to accept--all the little things I looked forward to as a child? After the initial excitement that is left over from childhood wears off, I realize they suck as an adult.

Tonight, we carved pumpkins. We've done it every year since Delaney was "here" and they do love to watch us turn a pumpkin into the "creature" of their choosing. But it is messy, I'm tired, it's stinky, and Thing 1 and Thing 2 had little/no naps today so they are crab-asses. And still we carve on, pretending to love the task because the girls love it so much.

In reality, I'm a perfectionist and have a mean competative streak--so I carve meticulously, but because I want the pumpkin I carve to look perfect--and better than the neighbor's.

And they do.