Fun with Food

Some days I think they are out to get me. 

If you recall, we have been living with Thing 1's wheat allergy for a little over a year now.  It took some time, but we all have adjusted.  We've figured out how to tell when she has pigged out on something wheat-filled without even asking.  She's a banshee who cries all the time.  We've figured out she actually loves all kinds of fish, brown rice, and broccoli.  And yet she won't touch peanut butter?  We've even learned a few combos that allow her to eat a little wheat and feel "normal" while not going overboard.  You could say I finally feel like I have a grip on things in my "new" kitchen.

Enter Thing 2.

This week, we found out she is allergic to dairy.  I thought I would go crazy making sure wheat didn't creep into our diet, now I have to look out for dairy, too.  Milk and cheese.  Do you realize how many things milk, in some form, is actually in??  Pick up three things in your pantry and look at the label.  Let alone trying to make tuna rice casserole (because we can't have tuna noodle--wheat!) withOUT cream of mushroom soup or cheese? 

Oh, and we can't sub soy products for the milk--she's allergic to that, too.  Moreso than the dairy, actually.  I knew I was in trouble when they started asking about her life as a baby and they specifically addressed whether she had colic.  Oh, DID she.  But at least now we know why.  I guess.

To make it more entertaining, Thing 1 can not eat wheat, but she's fine with dairy.  Thing 2 is fine with wheat but cannot eat dairy.  Can they at least be allergic to the SAME key ingredients?  Apparently not.

So what the hell am I supposed to feed my family, without taking out a second mortgage?  The doctor tells me meat, fruits and veggies.  The only other option is to make three separate "versions" of each meal--one without wheat, one without dairy and one with all the goodness.

In the interest of the food budget, which is already astronomical (want my kids to be healthy, Michelle Obama?  LOWER FRESH FOOD PRICES), I've decided that EVERYONE will eat wheat free, dairy free.  Otherwise, I'll spend 50% of our income on food AND spend three hours a night in the kitchen, after a full 8 hours at the office, with the Things running around crying because they are hungry and it's taking FOREVER to fix dinner.

For a bit of a silver lining, the Things have not had as long to pick up bad eating habits; for the most part, they are not picky and somewhat easy with which to reason.  In fact, Thing 1 has found a viable solution.

While a friend is on vacation, we're feeding her cats.  She thought the soft food smelled "good" and asked to taste it.  After the third no, I finally just told her "fine" thinking she would stick a finger in, be grossed out and never consider it again.

Not my kid.  She picked up a big hunk and popped it in her mouth before I could even react.  And she likes it so much, she wants to use catfood to make a burrito for her school lunch.  "What's the big deal, it's just like tuna?"

Luckily, it has wheat in it--so I get an easy out that doesn't require argument or explanation.

But if you see me at Wal-Mart with a cart of Fancy Feast, you'll know why.